Poles and Exotic Beauty Syndrome
Read the previous article about Poles in Interracial Relationships.
Poland is today a very different country than 20-30 years ago. People travel much more and are much more aware of the differences and similarities between different nations, ethnical roups and races. I still remember my stay in Czestochova with a black girl from Great Britain in late 80-es. She wanted to see a famous shrine of Black Madonna and I was her tour guide. It was amazing but people were looking at her as like she was from a different planet! This would not happen on the market square in Krakow or in the center of Warsaw where people are used to a broad spectrum of people of different races, habits or classes. But Czestochova is a uniquely Polish place, with crowds of people walking in pilgrimages from everywhere in Poland, also from some isolated rural areas, where tourists are seen rarely.
Now Poles go abroad and meet people of all skin colors and cultures. One can see or hear much more about successful relationships of Poles with people of different skin color, but some precautions need to be taken for this to happen.
If you are one of these people who got involved with the Polish person in the interracial relationship outside of Poland listen to some of the advises below.
The Polish person can be truly attracted to you but this attraction may be caused partly from the fact that you are just so different, so exotic. My advice - slow down the relationship, keep in on your rules and control it to make sure that you are treated rather as a partner than... the exotic fruit which somebody curious just wants to taste. The precaution to make sure that you are a partner in the relationship especially refers to the ladies from oriental countries since the Poles-men may believe a stereotype of oriental women serving their master men. Some men, especially these who left Poland recently and are not exposed to ethnic and race diversity may try to pick up exotic women just to cause jealousy among their male peers, so make sure that you do not serve as the experimental monkey.
As we wrote in one of the earlier articles - Dating Polish men & women, immigrants of any group, among them Poles, tend to form pseudo-marriages with somebody abroad as a substitute for the real marriage. Such immigrants may have families in their countries of origin but they are looking for somebody to be with - just temporarily. They may share with you their apartment of house but they may not even imagine to ever marry you and they have no courage to show you to their family in Poland or even in the USA but in a different state or city.
One of the signs that your Polish partner cares for you is to be invited to the family dinner in your home country. It is even better if he/she takes you home to Poland. Still, you need to be aware that in spite of the best intentions from your partner and his family, you may still cause a small sensation especially if the family of your loved one live somewhere on the Polish province. My advice: learn as much about the Polish culture, history and especially the etiquette (savoir vivre) as you can, prepare some nice gifts for all the family members and learn also some language. Nothing would make his/her family more happy and better used to you than being able to communicate in Polish! They would not even notice your other skin color anymore!
One more warning, I would not recommend you to try to live in Poland for longer except some big cities towns like Warsaw, Krakow and some other more internationally known spots. There are more and more foreigners living in Poland so the situation is changing for better with every year, still, Poland is not the melting pot like America is.
I do not want to suggest that Poles are racists, they are just not that used as Americans to see people who look different then they do.
I recommend Treasury of Classic Polish Love Short Stories: In Polish and English
I recommend Beginning Polish
Rosetta Stone Polish Personal Edition Level 1
It offers a comprehensive course of study for beginning learners, leading to intermediate proficiency
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