How to Impress Polish Lady on the First Date
This article should serve as a short course of savoir vivre for a man
for his first date with a Polish lady. But it may be useful also to people
who will be visiting their Polish friends soon or to anybody who is going
to Poland. Read more about Polish habits in series of articles with
advices
for tourists. Check the most recent articles: Poles
and Exotic Beauty Syndrome and Poles
in Interracial Relationships and many more in section Dating
Poles. Polish women are perceived usually as pretty, feminine, with a good taste
for cloths and elegant. No wonder that many men from different countries
ask me how to deal with a Polish girl they have a crash on. Check also
these articles from our site: Polish
Marriages and Families, Some Statistics & Polish
Wedding.
Below is some useful advice
First of all, you do have to behave no worse than Polish men do. Polish
men are gentlemen, they open doors and let women always first through
the door whether into (or out from) the restaurant, store, car or through
any other door. The popular welcome among people (both, men and women)
on a personal level is a kiss in right and left cheek. But do not try
to kiss her in a cheek during the first welcome this may be seen as too
arrogant and intrusive into personal space. Very elegant and old habit
is to kiss a woman hand by a man during welcome. This habit is fading
away, or it is being restricted only towards old ladies to show a respect.
But you need to know how to kiss a hand properly, if you are not sure
how forget about it because the effect may be opposite from expected.
Typical Polish men also would offer help to care a heavy luggage or
suitcase to a lady. I remember when I was waiting for my luggage in
Krakow airport in Poland after coming back from the USA at least two men
were ready to take my luggage from the rolling conveyor belt immediately
and give it to me. It was very nice since here in America the equal rights
seem to destroy good habits between genders (women here are considered
as the same capable to do everything like men). On the other hand if you
are a foreign woman in Poland and a man offers a help to carry the luggage
- be careful, sometimes it can be a gentlemen but sometimes a thief who
wants to use your gullibility or he would demand a tip or another kind of
service from you (for instance to exchange the money).
If you really want to win a girl's heart bring a fresh flower on a
first date. In Poland flowers are given on many occasions like weddings,
birthdays etc. If you are invited to visit a Polish house you are expected
to bring a souvenir - usually flowers for a hostess, in some occasions
also an elegant bottle of alcohol for a host. Flowers, beautiful flowers
are available in Poland everywhere, especially on the farmers markets.
So, please, do not forget about a flower unless it is a winter and flowers
may be just too expensive or inaccessible.
If you go to the restaurant try to be elegant, always ask first
what she wants to eat etc. Let her sit first in the restaurant. Pour wine
to her glass first. But do not be pushy and do not ask her to drink more.
Do not drink too much also. Alcoholism is a social problem in Poland especially
among the men. You may lose all your chances if you would be tipsy. The
first impression is very important. Do not tell her that you love her
immediately. Do not try to impress her by talking only about your achievements.
Listen to her, sense of humor could be helpful in your first conversation.
Try to show that you are an intelligent, strong, self-assured but not
too self-centered and self-confident and the most important show that
you are protective of her. For instance if you would leave the restaurant
and it would be cold and she would have only a light dress on offer your
jacket to her.
Pay the bill in the restaurant or movie theatre at least the first
time. In Poland splitting the bill in restaurants is more common.
Usually one person pay the full bill, this one who invites the others
and a man more often than a woman.
Polish women are usually good cooks (besides teenager-girls). When she
invites you for a dinner bring a flower and appreciate the food. If you
would try to fix food for her it would be even better!
Try to learn some Polish words. Below is a sample:
"English word"="Polish equivalent" (pronunciation)
"thank-you"="dziekuje" (djenkoo-yeh)
"good morning"or "good day"="dzien dobry" (djen dobri)
"good-bye"="do widzenia" (do veedzenya)
"see you tomorrow"="do jutra" (do you-tra)
"please" or "here you have"= "prosze" (prosheh)
" love you"="kocham cie" (coham cheu)
Check also our Polish Language link to learn more about Polish language.
Now a few words about a personal distance. People in different cultures have different distance in which they feel comfortable. Poles like other Europeans (and also Northern Americans) do need to have their space, do not come closer than on the arm's length unless you are dancing or you hold her hand. Do not look persistently in her eyes this might be seen as intrusion in her private space. Be an observer, but a friendly observer and give her some space. The last but important tip:
Polish woman is usually not a modern type of a liberated woman. She takes a commitment seriously. SO, BE AWARE!
Hope it might help and a good luck for your first date! Check the next article: Dating Polish men and women; can the relationship with Polish immigrant last?
Check a funny and interesting but also truthful book about Poles The Xenophobe's Guide to the Poles
by Ewa Lipniacka (Author)
I recommend also
Treasury of Classic Polish Love Short Stories: In Polish and English, by Miroslaw Lipinski
Let me recommend you also (not only to men who want to date Polish girl) an excellent book which describes differences between cultures in the aspect of time and space in personal, social or public distance. It is Edward T. Hall's
Silent Language
followed by the next book from this series
The Hidden Dimension
written by Jagoda Urban-Klaehn, 3 January 2003 (article #74)
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